Implement A Different Internal Script.

-In order to change the circumstances, you must first change your internal script, as a source of empowerment. "I can't", "I don't have time", & "I have to" are all examples of an internal script that resides within us. Instead of "I can't" or "I have to", try "I choose to"; and instead of saying "I don't have time", try "I will try to prioritize it" or "I choose not to prioritize it".  By doing so, you take on more of an active role in your decision-making. Life can be chaotic at times. We come across a list of responsibilities and tasks that happen to fall into place (barely) and become a part of our routine that eventually becomes our hamster wheel of burnout!

Make A List of Activities & Rewards.

- Making a list of self-care activities, rewards, & indulgences that can be associated with differing levels of stress. Self-care can take place in any format and does not have to be extravagant. Forms of self-care can include but are not limited to: reading, writing, drawing, listening to music, listening to podcasts, cooking, going for a walk or a drive, working out, going to the movies, or a restaurant. Self-care aids in decreasing stress and anxiety, may improve quality of sleep as well improved mood and possibly a decrease in blood pressure.

Practice Self Care Regularly!

-Do not treat self-care like a first-aid kit! Self-care is meant to be implemented on a regular basis. When I say "regular basis", that is subjective. A person can practice self-care daily, weekly, biweekly, monthly, or a combination of any of these schedules. For example, a person could practice self-care, daily, by listening to a podcast on the way home from work, and then decide to get a massage on a monthly basis. As long as all top priorities have been addressed for the day, to the best of your ability, then you are free to address your own self-care.

Do Not Make EVERYONE'S Anxiety YOUR Anxiety!

- As my mother used to say, "I have empathy, no sympathy". What my mother meant in her blunt, yet loving way, was that you can allow yourself to be put into someone else's shoes, as a way of better understanding and connecting with other individuals (empathy), without allowing their feelings and circumstances to dictate your next move (sympathy). It is difficult to be a spouse, caregiver, parent, employer, parent, or friend, without proper boundaries. As a therapist, I have learned (and am continuing to learn) the importance of boundaries with respect to other's feelings. By doing so, you help YOUR sanity and allow yourself to be the most effective in your role as their support system.

Give Yourself Permission to be Human.

-You do not have to have it "together" all of the time. You will not be able to please or accommodate everybody every day of the week. Most times you can only do your best given the circumstances. Part of being human is doing what you can, not doing everything perfectly. As a human being you can only live according to your standards and nobody else's. As a human being, you are allowed to own your feelings, whether you perceive them to be positive or negative. Experiencing negative feelings does not make you a bad person. We cannot control our feelings, we can, however, exert some control over how we express our feelings and to whom. Give yourself permission to consider your own feelings or how something may affect you. It is okay to be a little selfish; you're only being a little bit about self.....It's called being self-ish, not self-centered!